Saturday, November 2, 2013

These Are My Confessions

If this dog had long hair it would be an exact image of "poo". Scary, I know!

A few months back I did a confessions post about why I stopped wearing makeup for a year. Everyone really seemed to like it and I loved that I was able to share a little more about myself with y'all. I had a confessions post already wrote about a different topic but as I was reading one of my favorite blogs, one her posts reminded me of a funny story that I thought I would share. Thank you Lily for inspiring this months confession post! 

I know that Halloween is now over but I just had to share this story with y'all. When I was 16 years old my mom and I were going through totes and totes of baby books, pictures, and keepsakes that my mom has hoarded over the years (to be fair there are 5 of us kids). In one of the storage totes I came across this clown costume and wig that I had worn for Halloween when I was like 5 or 6. Being the jokester I am I thought I would put it on and dance around to be funny. Little did I know that this little joke would become something that people talk about still to this day. 

We lived in a very small town (literally it is 13 blocks long & 1 block wide) so we were pretty close with our neighbors. They were older people but they had kids my age that I was best friends with. They were all fun people who liked a good laugh so my mom thought it would be hilarious for me to go over to their house and show them the costume. First let me say this, it was the middle of July, the legs only went down to my calves and the arms were super short, and lets not forget about the wig. Second, and most importantly, they had this little demon dog with one tooth that hated me. I thought this would be a little laugh for MY family but before I knew it my mom forced me to go over to the neighbors house to show them. I really didn't want to show them but I thought oh they will get a quick little laugh and it will be over......WRONG! 

So I am busting ass trying to get across the gravel drive way so no one else would see me and BAM! shit got real. Out of friggin no where before I reached the front door that little ass demon dog named "Poo" came running after me barking and trying to bite me. I freaked out and ran...well that little demon was just as fast as me so I had to come up with a solution. My brilliant solution to getting away from Poo was to jump on the hood of their car because he couldn't get up there. So now here I am dressed in a super small clown costume from like 1995 with a big ass wig on, on the hood of a car, with a little demon dog trying to kill me. 

I really wish that I could tell y'all that the embarrassment stopped there, but no it got much worse. Poo would not go away and was starting to figure out how to get up on the bumper so I started screaming for my mom thinking that she would come help me. She never came out of the house and I really started to panic and scream for her. I wasn't aware that my mom had called the neighbors and told them to go look outside because she thought it was sooooo hilarious -_- . Next thing I know here they ALL come out of the house cracking up laughing, their older sons had friends over too so all of these people are now dying laughing over the sight of me in this costume loosing my shit on the hood of their car. My mom and family come over too and they all have a big ol laugh. Brilliant! The neighbors finally got poo away from the car but as soon as I got off the hood he came for me AGAIN. This time I ran as fast as I could to my house before he could get me. Thank god I am a southern girl and can run on gravel barefoot because I don't think I would have made it home if I wasn't. 

This story spread so fast in our little town and I was mortified. That stupid costume went back in the tote and I haven't looked at it since. I was so scared in the moment but now I crack up just thinking about it. This story comes up at least once a year and everyone has a good laugh so I guess I'm glad my terrifying experience provided so many people with joy. So thanks mom, for sacrificing your eldest, smartest, best daughter to the little demon neighbor dog for a good laugh.

Oh and FYI, Poo and I never did become friends. I felt he was just too negative to have in my life HAHA


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16 comments:

  1. I can just picture that little demon dog in my head right now! This is just too funny, but I am sorry you had to be the laugh of the town.

    Poo sounds awful!! LOL

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    1. He put that one little tooth to good use. Dogs normally love me but he was not having it. Oh the joys of living in a small town lol

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  2. Lol! Oh my that was soooo funny! I laughed as i read this to tamera!! I love u my beautiful daughter!!!

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  3. Gray story! Thanks for sharing an giving us all a little laugh.

    katespitz.blogspot.com

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    1. thank you for reading and I am glad you enjoyed it :)

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  4. Bahaha... Omg. That's hilarious. I would have ran for my life too! Red face and all! Haha. Great story girl. <3

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    1. Thank you lol :) I don't think I have ever run that fast haha <3

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  5. Omg thanks for the visual!!! My dog dax goes psycho on people like that sometimes too but thank goodness I always have him on a leash. Must be something with little dogs? LOL. I get so embarrassed when he barks crazy at people. Its usually only men he does it too though so maybe he just wants them to stay away from his mama! LOL!

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    1. LOL I am more afraid of little dogs than I am big ones. The have a little more 'pep' in their feisty little step. He prolly is telling them to stay the hell away lol

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  6. please check out my blog & follow if you like :)

    rorolovesbeauty.blogspot.com

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    1. thank you for commenting. I will def check it out!

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  7. I got a full mental picture of this and I was LOL about this pint size demon dog and the graphic you used is perfect to depict that. That's a story to tell your own children one day lol. I also had circus music running through my head as I was reading ;P Thanks for sharing this humours story

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    1. LOL circus music would have fit right in haha. Poo was def a scary little devil!

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  8. OH EM GEE!!!! LOL!!! This is so cute and so funny all at the same time! I'm so sorry your Mom had to do that to you but hey! Those are the best memories to have (especially as we keep getting older) hehe! Thank you so much for sharing this epic memory with us love! P.S. So sorry you and Poo couldn't make amends and be friends, but you're right, no negativity needed here! haha

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    1. LOL he was def a debbie downer. My mom thinks it provided a pretty good memory and story for us to share haha.

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